


so damn reckless

by gxrecafe



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Biting, Explicit Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Post-Battle, a bit of blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:34:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27212026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gxrecafe/pseuds/gxrecafe
Summary: “What thefuckwas that?”He threw his sword to the side, jaw clenched tight. The rush of battle still bubbled in his veins, but it was his emotions that took over at that moment. They boiled over, taking center stage within the chaos of his mind. Felix’s instinctive urge to subdue them long gone, pushed to his breaking point as the image of Sylvain at death’s door replayed over and over again in his head.If it had not been for Felix catching a glimpse of it in his side vision, who knew how Sylvain would have ended up? Surrounded on all sides; a single chipped lance against several crimson blades.What would have happened if he had not been able to intervene?
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 3
Kudos: 93





	so damn reckless

Felix slammed the door behind him. 

“What the _fuck_ was that?”

He threw his sword to the side, jaw clenched tight. The rush of battle still bubbled in his veins, but it was his emotions that took over at that moment. They boiled over, taking center stage within the chaos of his mind. Felix’s instinctive urge to subdue them long gone, pushed to his breaking point as the image of Sylvain at death’s door replayed over and over again in his head. 

If it had not been for Felix catching a glimpse of it in his side vision, who knew how Sylvain would have ended up? Surrounded on all sides; a single chipped lance against several crimson blades. 

What would have happened if he had not been able to intervene? 

Though he was there, standing right in front of him, alive and breathing, Felix couldn’t calm down. It had been too close of a call. _Far_ too close.

The sight of him tore at his heart; all bruised and bloodied. No matter how many times they had fought together, constantly on the battlefield, side by side amidst gruesome bloodshed; it never got easier. Silky red hair now a disheveled mess atop his head, a thin cut slicing across his cheekbone, ash and dirt smeared over his chin and neck. 

His eyes carried a heavy weight; one Felix could feel in the depths of his chest. The burden of war. 

But he was alive. 

_He’s alive._

“I took a risk,” Sylvain answered, shrugging it off. His fingers were busy deftly undoing the straps of his chest piece, letting it fall to the floor with a loud thud. Only the sound of metal and buckles resounded in the small bedroom as he continued, ridding himself of his shoulder, arm and hip plates. 

Felix could only watch; exasperation and anger unfurling inside of him. It was impossibly infuriating for him to simply _shrug it off_ as if Felix had not experienced the most frightening panic of his life. His gaze lingered over the gashes in the heavy black armor and even in his clothes; all the places that should have stayed untouched if not for his recklessness. The healers had done good work, wounds now closed but definitely still aching, leaving behind what would be yet more scars amongst the many already etched on Sylvain’s skin. 

In the short moments where he had seen its bare splendor, Felix had quickly noticed the copious traces of battle decorating almost every inch. Some nastier than others, thick enough for Felix to wonder how he even survived such injuries. Then again, Sylvain always got himself in and out of tricky situations, regardless of context. As if he was forever following danger at the heel. 

“You call that a _risk?_ ” Felix spat, fists clenching at his sides. He couldn’t help the tears already brimming his eyes. Why was it that they always appeared so easily when it came to Sylvain? “That was stupid. Absolutely fucking _stupid_. Suicide, even—”

“I _get_ it, okay?” Sylvain answered bluntly. His eyes evaded Felix’s, darting to the floor instead. It was obvious he knew he was in the wrong, but of course, his ego would never let him admit it. No matter the circumstances or even the pain in Felix’s voice, it seemed. “But I made it out.” His voice softened after that, and so had his eyes. “Thanks to you.”

But no soft voice nor sweet eyes would be enough to calm Felix’s rage. The mere _thought_ had broken his spirit into a thousand pieces. The feeling that had torn him to his core on the battlefield was unshakable. _Never_ had Sylvain been so overcome. _Never_ had he let himself be taken down from his mount. Barely able to stand as he clumsily dodged and tried to defend himself, taking hit after hit until he was ultimately brought to his knees. 

Almost as if he had… _given up_. 

Even though he was strong, arguably one of the strongest men Felix had ever met in his life; he was still _human_. Sylvain often forgot that. 

What had consumed Felix back there was inexplicable. A force that had made him silence three at once, that had pushed his aching legs to dart across a distance long enough to burn him out. And yet he had made it there just in time, shielding Sylvain’s body with his own, his sword deflecting the swing of two others and driving through the chest of someone else. It was as if he had been possessed, mind focused on nothing more than Sylvain’s survival. Ready to risk his own life for it. 

Many times before had Felix worried about Sylvain’s safety; the man pushed by impulse and emotion rather than rational thought. But never had he _feared_ for his _life_. 

If Felix thought he had known real fear before that moment... he couldn’t have been more wrong. 

And that realization hit him _hard_. 

“What the fuck would I have done if you died out there?” He hated how pathetic his voice sounded, rough and broken, but there was no hiding it. No silencing the words that heedlessly pushed past his lips bitten red. Felix’s throat burned from how hard he tried to swallow down the knot forming there. “ _Huh?_ ”

Sylvain didn’t answer, though his jaw clenched.

“You act as if I can live _without_ you.” Felix cut himself off, swallowing hard. 

Silence fell in the small room and only then did he realize the weight of his words. Felix never had been very upfront about his feelings, at least not _that_ kind. Not the kind that made his insides clench, that made his heart stutter and stomach flutter. That made him reconsider every decision he had ever made, that turned his world upside down and held him by the throat. Always keeping it under lock, safe from malevolent hands. 

But there was no going back now. He already had one foot across the threshold. And Sylvain’s hands had always been gentle. 

A single bead of sweat trickled down the side of his face. 

“We made a promise, remember?” he tried. 

“Of course I remember,” Sylvain whispered, holding onto his stare. “We die _together_.”

The fire he felt coursing through his veins, he saw in Sylvain’s eyes. Flames growing stronger as they stayed there, clutched and quiet. 

It felt like the walls were closing in. The tension that had already lingered between them for all these years heightened exponentially, palpable between their still bodies. Their breaths became shorter, throats tight, and tears threatening to spill. It grew and grew until Felix felt light-headed, overwhelmed by the battle, by every single thing that had happened between them up until then. Unspoken confessions hanging in the air, a yearning they had never let themselves delve into. 

Love had no place on the battlefield. War never gave them the time. 

Felix’s eyes focused on that beautiful golden shade he so often got lost in, their depths impossibly enthralling. 

It hit him full force. The meaningless fights, the secret glances, the promises, and buried feelings. The hundreds of recollections that had flashed in his mind just as he had witnessed Sylvain’s knees digging in the battlefield’s blood-soaked dirt. Felix’s dearest memories; all led by a single face. 

It had always been there, but neither ever reached out. 

And suddenly, he couldn’t hold it back anymore. Felix _burst_.

He gave in to the flood of emotions and rushed forward, lips crashing against Sylvain’s. Felix’s hands cupped his face, breaths shuddering when he felt its warmth, the slight stubble prickling his electrified fingertips. It both grounded and devastated him; finally closing the space he had ached to be rid of for so long. Drawn to him like a magnet, endlessly orbiting around his system. 

Sylvain’s lips were as soft as he had guiltily imagined, his kiss gentle but filled with an intent Felix could _feel_. 

The embrace was answered— _deepened_ by him. Sylvain’s hands were quick to wrap around his waist, strong and heavy. Pulling him in closer as if there was any distance left; closer than they had ever been. That they had ever _let_ themselves be. Felix’s heartbeat pummeled in his head, trembling hands snaking up into the mess of scarlet strands. Holding onto them for dear life, he let Sylvain push into the kiss, tongue grazing under his upper lip. He flicked his own against the tip, feeling Sylvain’s grip tighten over his hips. A strong shiver coursed through Felix’s entire body, feeling weak and yet standing strong, desperately hoping that Sylvain would somehow _understand_ him without need for more words. 

The kiss broke and only then did Felix realize how breathless he was, staring down at Sylvain’s now swollen lips. They exchanged breaths for a second, drowning in the heat surrounding them. 

“ _Damn_ ,” Sylvain chuckled, breaking the silence. “Wondered when you’d finally do that. Should’ve been close to dying sooner.”

Felix clicked his tongue. “Shut up, just—shut _up_ for once.” 

He did it himself, kissing him again as warmth flooded his cheeks. Not satiated in the least bit, years of pining pushing his fingers to travel lower instead. Their tongues met again as Felix’s hands smoothed across Sylvain’s chest, undulating over the strong curve. He allowed himself to cup them ever so slightly, pulling a sharp inhale out of Sylvain. How many times had Felix fantasized about this? To feel Sylvain’s muscular body beneath his fingertips, to feel it clench and tremble under his touch? Sylvain looked just as affected as Felix felt, cheeks almost as red as his hair. Hips pushing forward, fingers digging into Felix’s waist so hard they would leave bruises behind. 

Sylvain pulled away, licking the spit off his lips. “How am I supposed to shut up when you—you’re—” He cursed and switched their positions, trapping Felix between his body and the wall behind them. Then he pressed up against him, and a wave of heat rolled up Felix’s chest, engulfing him whole. Sylvain’s lips trailed along Felix’s jaw, scattering kisses over the flushed, sweat-sheened skin. Felix’s eyes rolled back, hands instinctively going up to curl around handfuls of Sylvain’s hair. 

It was dirty and desperate, still clothed and grimy; but it felt so _right_.

“Waited so long,” Sylvain whispered against his skin, goosebumps rising wherever his lips pressed. Fingers crept up the back of Felix’s neck and he gasped when they tightened around the hair there, pulling his head back. Felix could barely process his words, let alone his actions. All he could do was _feel_ , and what he felt next was sharp teeth grazing against the sensitive skin over his throat. They pulled his shirt’s collar down, and then it was all wet kisses with hints of tongue. Heat pooled in the pit of Felix’s stomach, overwhelmed beyond compare, hopelessly trying to blink away the fog in his vision. “I didn’t think you—”

“Think I _what?_ ” Felix winced, Sylvain’s teeth digging a bit deeper. His body was crushing against him, growing stronger as if he had not been almost vanquished just hours before. Sylvain seemed consumed by _something_ —something Felix felt just as hard. Devastation in the loveliest of ways. 

“Felt the same way.”

Felix’s eyes abruptly widened and he pushed him off, frowning. If anyone had been _unsure_ , it was _him_. Sylvain constantly talked about women, always flirting with whoever stumbled upon his path. It had always been superficial, obviously meaningless, but _still_. Felix couldn’t have been more obvious about his feelings. Well, to _him_ , at least. 

“You know you’re really fucking _stupid_ at times, huh?”

“Yeah,” Sylvain smiled. “You tell me all the time.”

Although he was very much still floating in a lustful daze, the cut on Sylvain’s cheek pulled him out of it, reminding Felix of why they were there in the first place. The pierced armor at their feet, the exhaustion after hours of battle settling in his bones. The last few minutes felt like a blur, too much in too little time. Sylvain’s smile fell as Felix’s hold tightened around his arms. 

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” Felix whispered, swallowing hard. He looked down as he felt tears threaten to spill once again, that damned knot making it hard to speak. “Don’t ever act so recklessly. Don’t ever put your life in danger. Don’t ever—”

“ _Felix_ —”

“Don’t ever leave my side.”

Sylvain tipped his chin up. The gentleness and sincerity in his traits made Felix’s heart flutter. “I won’t.”

“Promise?” Felix mumbled, leaning into Sylvain’s touch as he wiped the single tear that had rolled down off with his thumb. 

“I promise.”

Felix nodded, closing his eyes as he focused on the warmth of Sylvain’s palm. It was calloused and yet still smooth. He felt his head be guided up, and the following press of lips was so faint it almost felt like a ghost. Sylvain took his time, large hand delicately holding his face, his other tucking a stray strand of hair behind Felix’s ear. Time seemed to slow down, even freeze. Nothing but them; but the other’s heat and scent, touch and voice. Every slight graze felt like electricity, echoing deep inside of him. 

The one thing he had yearned for the most in his life; to be touched and held by the only person that had broken down his walls and made a home in his heart. 

Sylvain’s lips traveled over Felix’s cheek, just barely grazing against the shell of his ear. “Can I touch you more?” 

“Yes, _please_ —” 

Felix’s voice broke with that last word at the urgency of Sylvain’s response, hands already working on undoing the buckles of his shoulder piece. Felix helped him, trying to calm the shake in his hands as they hurriedly rid him of both his armor and jacket. Then Sylvain’s hands went even _lower_ ; palming down Felix’s thigh until his thumbs hooked in the thigh-high boots’ hem. Felix’s legs clenched unconsciously, the touch unfamiliar, the most intimate he had ever experienced, but oh so _welcomed_. 

Felix ached for Sylvain’s heavy hands to explore every dip and curve of his body, for them to skim over every inch of his skin, to leave traces of his eager touch along the way, and yet he could barely handle it through fabric. 

Just _imagining_ them against his bare skin sent his mind into pure—

“Up,” Sylvain said, pulling him out of his flustered thoughts.

Felix raised his leg and watched as Sylvain carefully pulled the boot off, fingers caressing down the entire length. And then he did the same with his other, leaving Felix breathless and yearning, heart beating so hard it felt like it would rip out of his chest. His fingers clawed at the wall behind him, bottom lip tucked tightly beneath his teeth. Just _this_ and the front of his pants were already becoming tighter. 

He wasn’t sure what embarrassed him more; how he was already half-hard from kisses and getting his boots taken off or how much Sylvain seemed to be enjoying taking said boots off. 

“You don’t have to,” Felix shuddered out a breath as Sylvain came back up, warm hands following his movement, “ _undress_ me.”

“But I want to see you.”

As devastating as those words were, there was no changing his mind. “I waited too long, and I can’t _fucking_ do it anymore.”

Felix grabbed him by the collar, his embrace now translating all the desperate longing that had plagued his mind for as long as he could remember. Their kiss was more a mess of teeth and tongue than anything else, demanding hands finding their way beneath fabric, aching for skin against skin. The contact left Felix feverish, small sounds pushing past his lips as his fingers found the hard expanse of Sylvain’s stomach, smoothing over scars here and there. They were enticing to Felix; proof of all that he had survived, of just how strong he was. 

Sylvain was so warm; a blazing fire Felix wanted to consume him whole. 

Just as his greedy fingers reached over Sylvain’s chest, Felix felt a hand crawl up his spine. It drove him wild how much they covered him, how easily they wrapped around his smaller body. As if he was made to be held by him and his hands only. Shivers sparked across his entire back and Felix’s nails dug into Sylvain’s pecs, clawing their way back down. Sylvain’s wince turned into a groan as Felix pulled his bottom lip back with his teeth, nails scratching through a patch of hair until they found a buckle. Their breaths were erratic, bodies trembling with raw _need_. 

Felix undid the buckle and yanked his pants open in one sharp movement. One hand snaked back up to anchor behind his neck as his other tentatively palmed him through his underwear. Sylvain gasped, lips parted and eyelashes fluttering. He hardened under his touch, the length twitching into his grasp. Felix drank his reaction like the sweetest of wines, letting go of all worries he might’ve had and focusing on nothing but the pure desire clouding his mind. 

Felix wanted so much all at once; to witness all the ways Sylvain’s face could twist in pleasure, to hear all the sounds that could crawl up his throat, to feel and taste every inch of his skin.

A faint moan crossed Felix’s lips as Sylvain’s touch became bolder, too. He pulled the leather string of his pants and stretched the fabric out, quick to free his cock and wrap his hand around it. Felix choked on a gasp, eyes widening and entire body clenching at the new, crushing sensation. White-hot pleasure sparked up his spine and down to his extremities, warmth flooding deep in the pit of his stomach. It was nothing like his own hand, indescribably _good_. 

Sylvain’s other hand abruptly hooked under Felix’s knee, hoisting his leg up over his hip. Felix couldn’t really understand the position at first, but he stood on his tiptoes anyway, arms wrapping over Sylvain’s shoulders for balance.

When he looked down, he understood. 

Their cocks were now aligned, and Sylvain wrapped his hand around them both.

A high-pitched whine escaped Felix’s lips with the first tug. They both drowned in the feeling, the choking proximity. Drinking eachother’s breaths, lips just barely touching. Their gazes met and Felix wasn’t embarrassed anymore, only _terribly_ aroused, Sylvain’s lust-ridden expression doing all sorts of things to him. 

Just when he thought it couldn’t get any better, Sylvain let a thick drop of spit fall onto them, and the added slick heightened everything _tenfold_. It was practically impossible to hold back the cascade of moans spilling out of his mouth, especially with the crushing look on Sylvain’s face. Brows furrowed tight, cheeks flushed and sweat trickling down the sides of his face. Lips swollen red and golden eyes half-lidded, deeply concentrated on the movement. And the way he was twisting his grip when reaching the tip, and feeling _his_ twitch against it, hot and thick and—

Sylvain slammed him against the wall, knocking the wind right out of Felix. And then his lips were on him again, that hand on his thigh digging deep into the flesh, his other back in Felix’s long, tousled hair. Sylvain rolled his hips and the friction felt _heavenly_ , the slight pain mixing in only somehow making it _better_. Felix could barely focus, even less breathe, letting Sylvain handle him as he pleased. Now moaning unashamedly, all the whines and gasps, relishing in the loud grunts coming from Sylvain. 

It was so _hot_ ; sweat sheening their skin, fabric and hair sticking to it, but there was no stopping the hunger that consumed them. Both moved their hips frantically, chasing after a release they felt dangerously close. Running on pure ecstasy, kissing and biting, scratching and grabbing. All that they had repressed now resurfaced and enhanced, as if it would be the last time they found themselves like that. Alone, free to delve into one another. 

And maybe it was. 

Sylvain’s sucked on a patch of skin under his jaw, the sting turning Felix downright _delirious_. It was building way too fast, all these overcoming sensations clashing together. The bite on his neck, the pull in his hair, Sylvain’s thick cock rubbing up against his own, the weight and strength of his body crushing him against the wall— _too much_. Tears brimmed his eyes and he dragged Sylvain’s head back up, kissing him with the fervor that ate him up from the inside. Sylvain groaned in his mouth and it echoed deep inside Felix’s groin, his cock pulsing in response. 

The hand that had been in Felix’s hair found its way much lower, slipping under his pants to grab his ass _hard_ , pulling him in at the same time as he thrust forward. 

And Felix lost it. 

“I’m—” Felix choked, looking down. 

Sylvain let go of his leg to wrap his fingers around their cocks instead. The climax blindsided Felix, hips bucking into the tight grasp. Blinding-hot pleasure shot through his veins, Felix biting down on his lip so hard it drew blood. Their foreheads pressed together as white streaks trickled down Sylvain’s hand, some drops staining their clothes. Felix’s legs trembled, chest heaving with every hard breath he tried to catch. All he could do was stare down at the filthy sight, not quite believing what he was seeing, what had just happened. 

But it wasn’t over just yet.

“Kiss me.”

Felix swallowed hard, heart clenching at the utter _desperation_ in Sylvain’s voice. He cupped his face and pulled him in, surprised at how gently Sylvain kissed him back. Felix didn’t question it when Sylvain yanked his shirt up and pressed his cum-stained dick against his stomach, hips moving again. A couple of thrusts and he was coming already, breaking the kiss only to sink his teeth in Felix’s neck. Not enough to pierce the skin, but enough for Felix to wince and grit his teeth. 

Biting seemed to be Sylvain’s _thing_. Not that Felix minded. 

Sylvain rested his head against his shoulder for a moment, catching his breath. Felix thoughtlessly stroked his hair, his heartbeat slowly came back to its normal pace. The high had dissipated into a pleasant buzz, limbs delightfully numb. Sylvain felt so heavy, and Felix couldn’t help but imagine that weight over his entire body. Sylvain’s broad frame hovering on top of him, or even _under_ him—

Felix pressed his lips together. He needed to calm down. 

He had to admit he felt a little _gross_. Sweaty and… _sticky_. 

“Wow,” Sylvain huffed out. He straightened and seemed embarrassed, looking down at the mess on his hand, their clothes, and especially Felix’s stomach. 

“Yeah,” Felix chuckled. “ _Wow._ ”

“Never thought almost dying would get me to jerk us off. Still in armor, too.”

Felix rolled his eyes and hit his chest. “Shut up.”

“Alright, I will,” Sylvain said with a smirk, leaning closer to Felix’s ear, “but only after we clean up, get in bed and I properly make love to you.”

“Oh.” Felix blinked, cheeks flushing an even deeper shade of red. “Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/gorecafe)


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